Monday, May 7, 2012

Moving, sickness, & visitors

April was an eventful month for us. We moved into our new house at the beginning of the month, and that was quickly followed with the household, minus RK, coming down with a horrible flu bug. At the end of my illness our first set of visitors arrived from Ohio, #1's best friend and his mom. I was unsure how the visit was going to go as far as RK was concerned, but it went amazingly well.

Following that visit we had about three days to ourselves before my dad arrived for his eight day visit. My dad hasn't had the best response to RK's transition, so RK and I were both nervous about how Dad's visit would be. My sister had been doing a lot of prep work for us - talking to dad about the importance of female pronoun usage, and how upset I was that my mom didn't even try. I am surprised, and proud to say that Dad did a great job. In addition to using correct pronouns (or self-correcting when he didn't), he was super-helpful around the house, and finally had conversations with RK after 11 years of us being together. It was hard for all of us to see him go. I am trying to convince him to move here, but with the rest of the family back home I doubt it will happen.

As far as RK and I go - things are ok, but I am still struggling with strangers assuming that I am a lesbian. Worse than the strangers are the people who know I am not a lesbian, yet continue to refer to me as such. I realize that we are a unique couple, but it gets overwhelming. RK is good about being aware of my need to be acknowledged as straight, but I have asked her to step up her game in defending me and calling people out for being disrespectful to my sexual orientation, the same as I am for her and her gender. It can get tiring, feeling like we are constantly on guard, I hope that we get to a place that is more freeing and peaceful soon.